Pakistan News and Discussion-8

[Guest]

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<b>SUCH GUP</b>
<b>Bliss bills</b>
Our mole went and hung around outside that fancy five star hotel in central Manhattan where Big Ben’s Hubby has been happily ensconced for a year now. A little while later Hubby emerged and soon thereafter a big black limo appeared to pick him up. Our mole stayed put at his vantage point and two hours later Hubby returned. Our mole saw him tip his limo driver with a bliss bill of US $50.

<b>Little big man</b>
In his memoirs, the real PM claims that he fell out with his erstwhile boss The Man of Steel on three occasions before the government was overthrown in 1999. Two had to do with serving generals and The Man’s interference in affairs of the military. The last had to do with “the editor of The Friday Times” and The Man’s demand to court martial the errant editor in 1999.

To his credit, the real PM refused to oblige and when the editor was arrested and his custody appropriated by the Invisible Soldiers Inc, the real PM asked them to take care of the editor and ensure his wellbeing. True again. Readers of the real PM’s book have wondered why he was loath to name the editor and why he has labeled The Friday Times (Pakistan’s only international award winning newspaper) a “tabloid” as if to denigrate it. Our mole reports that the real PM had indeed put in the name “Najam Sethi” when discussing the issue of TFT ’s editor but that it was erased by his Pakistani ghost writer. The appellation “tabloid” is also the handiwork of the same ghost, as confirmed by the real PM’s publishers. By taking with one hand what the real PM gave with the other, the ghost has made the real PM look small.

So who’s the little big man then?

<b>Maulana republic</b>
After rumours of a coup d’etat swept Pakistan last Sunday, the real PM was forced to quell them with a no-nonsense statement: “No question of a coup. Pakistan is no banana republic” he said in a clear reference to the Thai coup which happened last week while the prime minister was away. Upon hearing this, Asma Jehangir, that indefatigable campaigner for human rights had this to say: “Pakistan may not be a banana republic but it is certainly a maulana republic!”

<b>Politically incorrect</b>
We reported in this space last week that the real PM had alleged in his memoirs that Mukhtar Mai was never gang-raped and that she was detained against her will for a brief while, and “emerged disheveled”. <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>He implied that she wasn’t at the mercy of her captors long enough to be raped</span>. It now emerges that this allegation has been ironed out of the final version of the real PM’s memoirs. Our mole at a prestigious British newspaper reports that the memoir given to the reviewer of that paper certainly contained the “no rape” allegation but that it was taken out at the last minute. The real PM was advised that given the kudos heaped on Mai in the West, such a statement would be politically incorrect.
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